The Thirsty Hoe Reunion

 

This must be a way to hold on to the last wispy seconds of their 15 minutes of fame… 

I been hearin’ rumors that three of the skanky hoes Tiger Woods tripped and fell into and ruined his,  Elin’s, and their children’s  lives, are plannin’ a reunion party to commemorate the anniversary of Tigers lil car crash, that broke the whole nasty story.

Well I be dayumm….

And Tiger is welcome to attend, since he will be at a country club ‘down the street’,  at the  Chevron World Challenge.   And his drinks will be on the house.  As if  he would entertain the thought,  even for a second…

Holly Sampson (Becky Bytch #5), Jamie Jungers (Becky Bytch #3) and Joslyn James (Becky Bytch #2) are gettin’ together at ZIN Bistro in the L.A. suburb of Westlake Village, to host a reunion cocktail party on Dec 3rd.  The infamous car crash was actually on Nov. 27th.   (Devon James of  “Fake Sex Tape ” fame, isn’t involved… so far.  I wonder how she missed this “Attention Whore Reunion”?)  

God, these bytches are stupid.

The only person who could possibly think this is a good idea,  is the owner of the bistro, Rouz Yaz.  I can see why-becaues he’s gonna make a whole lot of money.

So what good will this really do?   What purpose would it serve, other than keepin’  these hoe’s names in the news for a few more minutes?    People should just let the man move on.   Ok- he made a mistake (15 of them!), his reputation has been damaged,  he lost his wife and kids, lost millions of dollars in endorsements,  and that $750Milli settlement ’prolly still hurts .   The man lost his first tourney in 15 years, stressin’ over this.    I say enough already.

This is the last thing he needs right now.

Well, Its “Official” Official

Tiger and Elin are no more Woods.

Finally after nine crazy months of bytches jumpin’ outta bushes sayin’ they slept with and had children by her man, The divorce is “final” , and Elin gets her life back.

And her name.  Call her Elin Maria Pernilla Nordegren, from here on.

In a hearin’ that didn’t even last 10 minutes, Tiger became a single man and a single dad in one whop.

They not talkin’ about the terms of the divorce, but we know Elin is a breaded woman today.  Snatched the pockets off his ass.  They did ‘issue a statement’ for the pap:

“While we are no longer married, we are the parents of two wonderful children and their happiness has been, and will always be, of paramount importance to both of us. The weeks and months ahead will not be easy for them as we adjust to a new family situation, which is why our privacy must be a principal concern.  We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future.”

That’s sounds nice and pretty.  But the truth of the matter is that she is ‘prolly glad to be rid of The Serial Cheater, and cant wait to start collectin’ his dough.   And gettin’ on with her life.   I’m sure we’ll hear she got her a new piece soon…

He wants to say the media destroyed his marriage.  I think him not bein able to pass on the cooch bein thrown in his direction, is what destroyed his marriage.  The sooner he gets that,  the better off he’ll be.

So now we move on to the next big  thing…

$100 Million Dollar Baby

Well,  Tiger Woo managed to get off lightly, at least for now.    It’s reported that Elin will only get $100 Milli, custody of the kids, of course, + child support payments while walkin’ away from her marriage to the Serial Cheater.   That’s a far cry from the $750 Milli she asked for.  That’s more than Tiger Woo makes actually.    He’s reportedly only worth about $5-600 Milli.

She could get close to that $750 mark, tho.  The fact that child support is based on earnings and potential earnings, over the years she could clean up!   She also get their $4.5 million house in Windermere, Fla., plus an apartment in Stockholm and a farm nearby.   She paid!

Well,  in light of the fact that he wants a lifetime of silence from her, that’s good money.   She won’t EVER have to work a day in her life.  Her kids wont have to work a day in their lives.  There is nothin’ a tabloid or mag rag could offer her.

She deserves it.  The boy publicly humiliated her, cheatin with all those grimey chickenheads.  But I got a feelin’ life aint so bad now…

I hope he and all the other Cheaters have learned their lesson.  ” Dont step out on your wifey, cos the bytch is gonna tell, and it’s gonna cost you.”

ta*

Elin Wants FULL CUSTODY!

Elin is comin out swingin’!    radaronline reports that Mrs. Woo has decided to go for FULL CUSTODY of the kids.   She still wants Tiger to be ‘a big part’ of the kids lives,(she says), but has decided not to agree to joint custody.  This could turn this already contentious divorce into an all out public war.  Tiger is not givin’ up those kids without a fight.   I would hope…

Right now they share the kids.  Tho they live about a mile apart, they barely talk and nannies drive the kids between their homes.

Maybe it would be best that she did have full custody. Its better than the kids subject to a parade of chickenheads and bimbos stumblin’ out of the master bedroom every other mornin’…   Tiger doin’ his bachelor thing.

(**sigh**) 

I will be glad when this is over…

Tiger Woo: New JumpOff?

radaronline.com reports that Tiger Woo (Woods-the serial cheater!) has been spotted with a blonde bimbo, who snitches say is a Elin look-a-like. 

This boy just will not get it, will he?  He so nasty…

Snitches say Tiger was seen out on the course in his gated community in Orlando with “a blonde beauty,” ridin’  around with him in a golf cart.  They were laffin’ and talkin’-tea-cakin’ very comfy…   As if he had not just been busted cheatin’ with a dozen chickenheads, goin’ thru a divorce and fightin’ for custody of his two children, and aware that the pap is watchin’ his every (stupid) move.

Tiger is reportedly hittin’ the club circuit in the Orlando area pretty hard these days too.  Embers is said to be his fav hangout.  (Pretty swanky too; check the digs here).    Tiger Woo is also reportedly buildin’ 9000 sq ft crib (the new Pussy Palace?), complete with an oxygen-therapy room, a practice golf course and at least four swimming pools (a children’s pool for his two young kids, a lap pool, dive pool, reflection pool), and a water fountain.   Well you just GO boy!

Sex therapy, (which was a big PR thingy to me-really), evidently hasn’t taught this lil worm anything.    Then again, I guess he just decided to ‘move on’ and “do him”.    I mean really-Elin had refused to move back in; barely speaks to the man; she’s playin’ games with the children; in talks with the attys, tryin’ to get deep in his pockets.  Its over.  What else he supposed to do?  The man can only apologize and beg so much…   Maybe he’s facin’ that.

I’m not sure his timin’ is all that, tho.  I mean, he is goin’ thru a high-profile divorce; this is about to cost him millions.  Bein’ seen with yet another jump off just doesn’t seem like the thing to do.    Maybe you should wait till you get a toe-hold on somethin’ before you start showin’ yo’ ass…

I’m jus’ sayin’…

I wonder if this is the beginnin’ of another episode of the “Who’s Tiger Fluckin’ Now” movie?

Elin’s Lookin’ For A $750Milli PayDay!

The latest news on the Tiger Woo divorce saga is that Elin is gonna make his ass pay-really pay-for his ‘discretions’. 

She’s askin’ for a whoppin’ $750Milli settlement.  She  believes he has more money than he has on the books, which might be why the amount has went up from the $400Milli predicted a few months ago. 

(I guess all that extra-martial  booty ended up costin’ wayyyyyyyyy more than it was worth, eh Tiger, my boy? AND she ‘nationally’ whupped yo’ ass!  Po’ thang…)

Remember a while back:
• While Tiger  was still hidin’ out, Elin went to Tiger’s office and removed boxes full of financial documents, which she put in her car and drove away?

• She hired a private investigator to look into Tiger’s assets and give her an accurate assessment of Tiger’s worth?

• She joked with her friends around the holidays about gettin’ a $300Mill settlement from Tiger as a Christmas gift?

She was settin’ his ass up for the kill then.   She also wants full custody of the couple’s two children, and to take them to Sweden to live.   I guess he’ll either have to go half-way around the world for ‘visitation’, or never see them again.   Wow…

Tiger is reportedly asking for a lifetime confidentiality clause which will prevent Elin writing or talkin’ about the details of their marriage, and, I guess, their divorce…   She is apparently not havin’ that.   Maybe she’s  plannin’ on writin’ a book and goin’ on the talk-show circuit.

Back to the bargainin’ table…

*More details as they come in.

Tiger’s JumpOff Rachel Uchitel To Pose For Hef!~

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel…

I guess this is one of the first “marketin’ agreements” of the Tiger Woo Chicken-Head Brigade. 

Rachel Uchitel, 35 and the first of the many chicken heads to come forward on Tiger Woo, and help make him Golf’s Most Stupidest Cheater,  is set to bare all for Playboy magazine. 

…Dont know how cash she’s gettin’ for this.    Playboy and Rachel are not commentin’ right now…   I’m sure it’s in the $Milli’s. 

She’s not goin’ raw tho; reports say she’s only goin topless and showin’ that flat ass of hers…

I guess you can’t get mad at the gurl for capitalizin’ on her lil 15-mins of Fame. 

All you Stans- get ready!~

Will Elin REALLY Divorce Tiger Woo?

Or is she just mad that he is not spendin’ all his time grovellin’ at her feet for forgiveness?

Is this time the charm?

Wooeb, Fox Sports, and Showbiz Spy are reportin’ today that Elin plans to go forward with her divorce from Tiger Woo.  “Insiders” are sayin’ that she’s p.o’d that he is returnin’ to the golf world and not keepin’ his focus on savin’ their marriage.

Elin, went to see her divorce lawyers the day after Tiger announced he would play in The Masters.

She reportedly told pals that Tiger had humiliated her by breaking a public pledge, made during his grovelling TV apology in February, to put his family first.  Friends say Tiger’s decision to return and play in the Masters on April 8 came after his advisers looked at polling data on his TV confession and saw a positive response.

But Elin was livid when he then cancelled a family dinner at her home – and instead invited golf journalists there so his team could “spin” his return to the game.

Seems she feels he’s back to his workaholic ways…The “Insider” went further: “He’s spendin’ 16 hours a day on the practice ground, puttin’ his game first, like the selfish, narcissistic husband he is.   It’s made Elin realize there won’t be any real end to this and she needs to get out.”

I guess one sign would be that she will not be attendin’ The Masters with Tiger.  A good argument would be that she doesn’t want to be overrun by the Pap- she hasn’t been really seen anywhere, and hasn’t said a word to the press since all this broke.   The Pap would literally kill for a picture let alone a word or two..

At least that’s the decision today.  We women are fickle. 

Who knows-they may be renewin’ their vows tomorrow…

Tiger’s Absolution…

I'm sorry...

Watched Tiger Woo’s contrite apology this mornin’…

My Take:    There is a ghost writer- someone else created this speech, but I think that he was very contrite and truly sorry.

The whole thing lasted about 15 mins and he was quite somber and in-character.  His feathers did ruffle when he spoke about Elin whuppin’ his ass with that golf club. 

“There is one issue I really want to discuss.   Some people have speculated that Elin somehow hurt or attacked me on Thanksgiving night.    It angers me that people would fabricate a story like that.   Elin never hit me that night or any other night. There has never been an episode of domestic violence in our marriage.    Ever.”

Yeah right, dude. 
He basically admitted to the world that he has sinned and was sorry.  He would continue to get help for his lil sex addiction,  and would not be returnin’ to golf too soon…   He asked that we “belive in him again”.  I never stopped.  If he wanna cheat on his wifey-and God knows he’s not the first!- then so be it…  I don’t feel he owes anyone , but maybe Elin (who was not at the ‘conference’) an apology for what he’s done. 

I was very touched by the hug he shared with his Mom, tho…  I could almost feel their allegiance about then…

On to the next big thing…

The Tiger Woods Mistress Collection

Tiger Woods mistresses’  immortalized on golf balls?

Yes.

NY Daily reported that a Canadian enterprise, Creative Classics,  is cashin’ in on TigerGate by sellin’ golf balls bearin’ ‘visual impressions’ of all Tigers jumpoffs.  And 2 of these chickenheads- Jaime Grubbs, Rachel Uchitel – have lent their names to the series! 

Joslyn James (Veronica Siwik-Daniels), went on record today that she doesn’t want any parts of this.   Her mouthpiece, Gloria Allred has issued a “cease and desist” letter  to the product’s manufacturer.

Steve Caldwell, the brains behind this venture says the idea just came to him out of the blue.  “I woke up and I was thinking, ‘It’s coming up on the year of the tiger.  I thought, ‘There’s millions of golfers out there stunned by what’s happening with Tiger and here’s a product that will get them all to laugh.”

And get him paid.   He claims to have already sold $40G’s worth of Tiger’s Balls.  One order was supposed to have been for $15G’s alone.

The guy claims this is all karma.   He said he saw Tiger once in Orlando and tried to give him one of his books.  Tiger walked by him and didn’t say hello.   Now he’s selling the mans worst nightmare…sounds a little catty to me.

They takin' this shyt a lil too far...

The set of 12 balls sells for $44.95, and for $5.00 more, you can get a fancier collectors set for display.

As if the man doesnt have enuff problems, a spoof on a 30-pc collectible plate collection! 

Po’ thang…