Well aiight then.
Co-worker 1: “Whew! I was almost late for work today!”
Co-worker 2: “Why is that? U miss the bus?”
(This person relys on public transportation to get to work. I’m not knockin’ him…)
Co-worker 1: “No, I fell asleep on the bus and rode all the way to Herndon. Then I woke up.”
Co-Worker 2: “Nobody, the driver, nobody didn’t wake you up?”
Co-worker 1: ”No. I asked the driver why she didn’t wake me up, and she f*ckn said, “You paid $1.25. If you would have paid $25, I woulda known I was babysittin’, and woke your ass up!”
*I fell out…
This fool, celebratin’ the baby’s birth, just str8 stepped into the designated smokin’ area of a hospital (in Uniontown PA.), and put one in the air! (For those who
profess not to don’t know what that is, it means light up a fatty, a blunt, a joint, a stick, a whateva they called it in your day… in public)
Some Nurse Ratched was on her own smoke break, when she smelled the chronic. She told the Mr. Security Guard, who called the 5.0.
When Sgt. Grabiak got there, the man pulled his sack out of his shoe, and told the police. “I’m having a baby and wanted to get a buzz.”
Of course they gon’ slap him with a possession of Mary Jane charge, but let his high & happy (and dumb!) ass go home, released to a family member, to finish his lil celebration…
Ain’t the police just nice sometimes?
Congratulations, Unidentified New Baby Daddy!~
I wonder how all this feels after 2 a.m.
This is actually a Paco Rabanne design from 1995. I just don’t know where he expected anyone to wear this…
I’m jus’ sayin’…
Super Mermaid Man, and his trusty sidekick, Guppie, The Crime Fightin’ 1st Mate.
(Doesnt the purple shell bra just kick off the whole outfit? AND it matches the purple nose thingy!)
Thank God this is only once a year!
Y’all know I’m a blog troll; I spend hours on the net when I can readin’ other folks blogs (it’s a blogger thing-that’s how we get down!). Ran up on this guy’s site “Black Girls Are Easy“, and found this wonderful ditty:
The Pu$$y Contract
()The Relationship Package: You two hereby agree to move at your own pace with the intent of one day becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, agreeing to commit yourself to one another for the foreseeable future. If you choose this package, let it be known that you are not to give him the pussy anytime soon. In addition to waiting way too long to beat, he will be content with eating the pussy whenever you ask, talking on the phone a minimum of five hours a day, and being there when “that bitch at work is getting on your last nerve”. In exchange for the relationship pussy He agrees to introduce you to all friends and family members as “my woman” and erase the numbers of all past girlfriends from his blackberry.
(x)The Rebound Package: You two hereby agree that the woman is in a delicate situation, and while she has the option to upgrade to the relationship package, for the time being this is strictly hardcore nasty sex followed by sporadic arguments when you “Do things that remind her of her ex-boyfriend”. The Rebound Package becomes null and void after a period of 60 days or when she gets back with her boyfriend—whichever comes sooner.
()The Jump off Package: You two hereby agree that you just want to fuck. You have a maximum allowance of two dinners outside of the apartment, and you are not allowed to introduce each other to any friends or family. At no time are you to call each other “boo or bay” or say the L word unless it’s to say “I Love this Dick/Pussy”. Both parties have the right to see/date/talk to/Marry anyone they want to while apart of this agreement.
(x)The Oral Add On: If you choose this add-on both of you reserve the right to ask for and receive head at any time regardless of if you “like doing it” or not.
*The Freak Clause: If it’s revealed at any time during any package that He is a Down Low homosexual or she is into things nastier than the occasional girl on girl experimentation, i.e. filmed gang bangs and golden showers, the contract becomes void. …unless of course you’re into that sort of thing.
So there you have it: The Technicalities and Legal Lingo of the Pu$$y Contract. OMG- I was speechless! And the guy is right at that. Y’all need to go by this dude’s spot. Its worth the trip. I was there for longer than I’d like to admit to…
(Disclaimer: I suggest all parties interested in enterin’ into such an agreement, please contact an attorney for legal and palimony advice. )