I truly hope that everyone has a great day, filled with family, food, and fun.  Let’s all take a moment today to  give thanks for all the blessings God has afforded us and our loved ones this past year… 

Enjoy your day!

::splittin' image of Anna Nicole!::

 Isn’t she just the cutest thing? 

 Anna Nicole would be proud.

R.I.P,  Baby.  

::she was gorgeous, wasn't she...::

It’s truly a shame this lovely lady had to die.    At 39 .   She had a lot of bad things happen to her; and she had a lot of bad people around her…

A true shame…

(::sigh::)

Oct 13, 2009.

 Today My dad is 76 years old.   I thank God he is celebrating this day  Bear with me while I get mushy… ♥

Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his daughter  how best to crash through it.   It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us father and daughter..

 

::my dad was somethin’ back in his day, wasn’t he?::

I need all God’s soliders in arms.

I got some disturbing news when I got to 2nd job today.  A co-worker, who we all just celebrated the birth of a beautiful lil gurl , Ilyanna,  3 mos ago- found out the baby has Swine Flu! 

We’re all worried because she said they cant give the baby the vaccine and expect her to die…

Im  not a doctor, and law is my thing, so Im  not sure of the facts, but I ask everyone who reads this, to lift  this child and her family up in prayer.    They need it so much right  now.

Please let me know u visited; I’d like to tell the family that u did..

::thankx::

Today while shopping in Walmart, I got a disturbing phone call:

My “Gran”, Mrs Isabell “Bell” Jones, closed her beautiful eyes for the last time this morning around 3 a.m., in Merced CA. She died in her own home, in her own bed, at the age of 97.

Dayumm!

I kinda showed my ass in Walmart-I couldnt help but cry RIGHT THEN since this is my ‘Gran”- I guess I just took it for granted she would just always be around. Even in her 90’s.

I come from a “distributed, dysfunctional family. Due to the lack of understanding and ability to get along and work it out, my parents split and then we went thru various family members at one time or another till it all ended up just bein Gran. Yall kno how Granma’s is; mine live within in 3 blocks of us, and was in our house atleast 3 times a week (creepin round the windows, ‘plantin flowers’ n’ ish -being nosey the other days of the week!). They always comin in with somethin they bought at a yard sale or ‘from the good Christian people up the way.’, that “‘one a yall can sho fit; aint no use lettin it go to waste…” They were forever tryin to get you to church (mine succeeded-she had help with the rest of the preachers and deacons of the church-my aunts were in the choir and on the board and secretary of Sunday School; my uncle was the pastor). We were in church with keys, before anyone else. and ALL WEEK for sumpthin. Livin with The Gurls, as I call her and her sister Aunt Butch, her partner in crime!) there was always a prayer meetin, (Wed night), and choir practice ,(Thur) Sisters of MtPisgah AME (Sat afternoons, and especially if Sunday is the 1st Sunday!) busines meetin’ (Monday nights- and they ‘burned the morgage’ on that bad boy too!). And Aunt Butch had a side game called The Buds of Promise. Met on Saturday afternoons in the summer when school was out. Kept a lot of us off the streets.

I remember always goin to Grans house and clownin to spend the night because her house was always nice and toasty warm from the gas heater planted right in the livin room. On those night Gran would always make Jello with something different in it each time. Even loquats (Ole skool kno what that is!). We would fight to see who was gonna get to brush and play in her hair. Who ever won the privilege got to do it till Gran dozed off under the brush…like she always did.

In the summer thats where most of us basically lived anyway, and I can remember playin out in Gran’s back yard where there was always a wood/junk pile to play on and with. The yard was full of fruit trees and had a garden. I cant tell you how many days I have lain in that yard on my back full of peaches and plums, ripe strawberries, loquats, figs, and crab apples . There was an apricot tree that produce them as big as some of the vine-ripe tomatoes that grew in the garden. We busted out there full with salt shaker in hand… those were the days .

I guess this would be the time memories like this rush in. That and old age Old Age.

Dang Ima miss her. But while Im sad I am kinda ok with it. She was 97 years old. She had a great life and I guess last she knew it was filled with love. I think Im bein selfish some how; Im sad because she is gone from my life, I guess I just thought she would always just be over there in Calif bein my Gran….thats must be what Im cryin for…but this is the end of her life and not mine and I should respect that it is time…I dont know how I feel right now really but I think that kinda close to it.

My uncle said she went peacefully in her sleep with a smile on her face. My Gran had a lot to smile for. She raised 9 children which includes adopted, had a hand in raisin 18 grandchildren, who bounced approx 33 great-grands on her knee, of which have laid 14 great -great-great-grandchildren in her lap for her to smile down on…most recently my son had the privilege, with twins Wisdom and Adrian II, born just this past Oct 29th. She lived a life full of laughter and love and faith. And she goin home to people she wants to be with, her mother and father, sisters and brothers (one still livin’), children (she outlived 5), grand -children (1).

There will be a celebration.

The Queen has died.

    January 11th is a significant day in our family.  It is the official birthday of Isabell Jones, my grandmother.

Gran was born Jan 11, 1911 in Oklahoma to god-fearing parents, and she continues to be a child of God to this day.  At her age she cant go to church of course, but the members come by on Sunday and bless her, so she’s still in the car…   She has outlived 4 of her children,  and has 27 grandchildren, 41 great-grandchildren, and  12 great-GREAT-grandchildren. 

The amazing thing about Gran is that she is not sick or have Alzheimers or anything.  She just sittin there ‘old’.  We still keep her in her home ( I will kill anyone who even thinks of putting my Gran in a nursing home- I dont give a dayumm how much they think it necessary!) and she just sits there watchin and listenin to the things and people around her.

 I get kinda weepy when I even randomly think of Gran- Im so happy, grateful, and blessed that she is still with us.  I often say that Gran will make a hunnit if its 99, and when she does, Im gonna throw the BIGGEST party for her. 

Really for me since I will be the one who is so happy and grateful on that day.

Happy BDay, Gran!  We know there will be a few more.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHERYL!  Today is Jan 26th.  On this day a dear friend of mine, who is no longer with me, was born on this day. Cheryl Ann Giddings Jackson was, and still is my “best-est” friend, I think “in my life”.  I met Cheryl shortly after we moved to Gardena in 1971.  We became fast friends along with another person, named Cresta Henderson.  We were the 3 Musketeers.  You never saw one without the other two.  We did everything together- dressed alike, dated brothers (Cresta was always in love with Patrick, Cheryl’s brother, all her life; they ended up with 2 children!), took the same classes…we were like one person spread out amongst 3 bodies…

 Cheryl would have turned 50 today, but instead, departed this life at the age of 26-way to soon…we still had things to do.  Sometimes I think of how things would have been had she live.  About our friendship, which I know would have survived.  How our children (her: Anthony Jr. and Nicole-me: Adrian and Jalina-boys first, girls second!) would have been friends, or “cuzins”, and the things we would have rode out as friends; infidelity (which led to her death), child rearing, taxes, frustrations, hormones, and falling bustlines; life.    I think about the late night phone calls we would have  shared, while one tried to comfort and soothe the other… like friends do…

Cheryl met and eventually married a man named Anthony “Tony” Jackson.   I remember their wedding, and the reception at Mahatten Beach.  I had visted Cheryl, and saw her for the last time,  at their first place when I was pregnant with my second child, in 1981.  I thought she was happy.  She looked happy…

Five years later, on  January 22. 1986 -4 days before her 29th birthday- Tony killed Cheryl with a shotgun blast to her chest in full view of her two small children, one of who was never the same after that day.  This all took place after an arguement about why HE was smokin crack and not bein a husband and father after 9 years of marriage (they got married right out of high school-hey, it was the thing to do in those days!)  She died of shock…

it wasnt supposed to be like this.

It really wasnt…

Its been  ’bout 20 years now, and tho I think of her often, January 26th is a special “think” day.  I wish her a happy birthday;  I “talk” to her; tell her things about me and whats been goin on in my life, like she was still here…I tell her she is still my “best-est” friend, and that I will never forget her.  

 And I never will. 

Happy Birthday, Cheryl.

I love you…

Rest in Peace, Boo.

   (*I wrote this yesterday and didnt get it in till now*)

Yesterday was Jan 11th.
Not a special or marked day to most people, but a day to celebrate for me.

My grandmother, Mrs Isabell “Bell” Jones turned 98 years old. I am first and foremost thankful and giving all honor to God that she is still here. I left Calif 2 years ago, but “talk” to her about once a week (she doesnt talk, we dont know if she can hear, but she still sittin there “lookin”!) but I often remember her beautiful lil face. Her hair is down her back (no one would dare cut it), all grey, and just as silky as it could be… I remember Gran as being the mainstay and rock of everyone’s family when I was young. Any problems anyone had (including me in my 20’s and 30’s) they went to Gran and she would “take care of it”. Whatever it was.  I am also ever cognizant of the fact that this is what continuous praise of the Lord will get you. My Gran is sittin there beautiful and healthy.  I remember that every time that church door was open, Gran and her sister Elizabeth-”Aunt Butch” (passed in 2002, and would have still been sittin right next to Gran,  92 years old, if the Lord hadnt seen fit to take her early because she was sick with Cancer) would be there. Gran was the Pres of the Building Committee, the Secretary of Sunday School (“Aunt Butch” was the Pres!) and in the choir, as well as an usher.   Those gurls tithed when they really didnt have it.  I remember in those days the pastor “traveled” each weekend for the service on Sunday and the “ladies of the church” took turns putting them up. Gran’s turn always was a joy for her. We didnt like it too much,  since at breakfast on those Saturday mornings was a disaster; we had to use good manners and keep our elbows off the table…The thing that marvels me:   She has been on this earth 98 - 365-day- years!   Thats a long time when you really think about it.    And I thank the Lord for the fact that she is not sick, shes just old.   Spends her days sittin in the livin room lookin at the world go by…but shes here.

Im gonna throw a party when she makes 100! I know she will*
She has seen the days when things we take for granted were’nt even around. My mom used to tell a story of when TV first came out, they were the first family on their block to get one. And how all the neighborhood kids would come over and watch some show. The screen was about 7-inches wide so they all were scrunched up…I bet it was funny.

I remember when my Gran first saw a cellphone. The look on her lil face was so cute. She was like. “What is that lil thang der’? Phone? Gurl, you talkin on the phone outside? How you gon’ do that?”   And guys she never talked on a cell so far in her life.   My aunt (who lives with her in her house and takes care of her) has a cordless unit, but Gran still has her “Ma Bell” beige, rotary-dial phone with the big clunky reciever and the whole bell on the bottom.   Her final GP opinion about cellphones is: “Ima use this here real phone, till its time for me to stop talkin on the phone, durnnit!” That phone is still sittin in her room on the nightstand, and nobody “bet not” think about movin it.

My Gran’s 1957 Chevy (the ugliest color green in the front and white in the back) stood in her driveway till just about 10 years ago, when my aunt sold it (Gran didnt kno till it was done-another story).   At the end of her ‘goin to town’ days she drove a yellow (!!screamin!!) Pinto that she thought was a spaceship when she first got in it.

(**Sigh**)

Ok back to my cave…

   Everyone who knows me knows I love my Dad with everything I have.  I dont want to see him sad or hurt or anything.  I would be sadder and hurt more.

Dad is going thru a divorce.  At his age (72) Im concerned about him.  He acts as tho its nothin, but I still wonder.  I try to call him as much as possible, just to talk to him and check up.  They were married for almost 20 years, and tho the lines of communication have broken down, I know he is still used to having someone around, doing things for him and just generally there for him. 

I never really gotten on with this woman.  No fault of my own; she just didnt really care for me.  I dont really blame her.  I think she felt threatened by our (my father and I) relationship, even resented it I would venture to say.  She made things hard…I never went to visit Dad while he was with this woman only because I did not want to put my father in the position to have to chose between the two of us.  And she would have made that happen.  

This Christmas will be the first time I have seen my father in 5 years, and visited my father in his home for the first time since the marriage.  Im looking forward to it.  I also want to go because this is the first real holiday he will be alone.  But not if I can help it.   Its gonna be a lil hard financially, but Im goin; I’ll deal with that later…

Dad asked me if my job was doing anything down there.  I think the root cause of that was he is thinking of me coming there to live with him.  I cant say the same thing did not cross my mind since I heard of the divorce.  Of course I would be willing.   I think that realistically we can look into that about this time 2007.  I need to get a few things off my plate.  I need to untangle my license from California so I can get a car under me.  Im not to worried about the job thingy;  Im an employable person and can get a job anywhere I go.  I just need the car to get around…

More on this later…

::LATER::

!!MY XMAS WAS THE BEST EVER!!

I went to see my father as I said before.  Somehow the Lord just put everything in its place and the trip went off smoothly.  I rode the bus for 190.00 which I had purchased the Friday before.  Not bad when flying and the train would have both been over 300.

I got to see a lot of stuff; Im originally from Cali, so this South thing is new to me.  We went thru Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana, before hitting the Dallas/Fort Worth area.  I met some people on the bus early on, and we sort of rode together.  Caught up on some sleep.  I had a pleasant trip

I was really glad to see my father.  It had been 3-4 years since I looked into his face, tho we talk on the phone 2 or so days  of the week.  He looked understandably older, but still the same. 

We spent alot to time talking, just about things; my father is a very learned man and a good conversationalist.  We looked at alot of pictures-Dad has mugshots I didnt know existed!  

The ‘talking’ was the most valued thing to me.  like I said, we talked about a lot of things, and Dad told me alot of things I didnt kno; about our lives, things that happened when we were younger…it was very enlightening.  

One day we talked all day! We hadnt realized that the TV never came on till we turned it on. (::smile::) It was a precious time for me.

When it came time to leave, I reverted right back to that child who used to cry rivers every time my father had to leave. Except I was the one leaving!   I didnt go full-flood, but things got misty.    How crazy it that?  But we managed to get thru it.  When I got on the bus, I watched him till he drove off.  Then I let a real tear or two fall.  It wasnt a sad tear-I guess its just that I love him so much,  it has to come out somewhere.  I dont feel sad, I think I feel warm and squishy and happy he’s mine… 

I dont know; but its a good thing.

I dont know what I would do without him…